Ohhh How I wish i could do better.....

OK so I wish there  was a way I can do certain things in my life but I have to many things I'd like to do. I feel as if i have so little time or very few resources being of the fact of certain documents that I don't have that prevent me from doing them. I'm having issues with my id and court fees for a name change. I want to run 5 miles and when I almost make it something in my life that prevents me from doing it.  I want to pay for my kids music lessons but can't afford it. I'd like to place them in an athletic team but cant afford it.  I want to create my album but no time because its work sleep and a couple of hours with the kids.

Wow this girl nags and is so unappreciative.... That is how I feel others look at me which yes there goes another issue I'm having. I worry about how people look at me and think of me. 

But then I think I shouldn't worry about what others think of me because they cant handle walking in my shoes. 

I am yearning to do better in my life because because i want better. But I believe God has me on hold because it should only be for his Glory. I believe I am disappointing him like when the Israelis in the book of Samuel asked for a king because Samuel was to old and his sons were corrupt to judge. Samuel warned them of the demands kings want, the lands and rights the king will take. Samuel prayed and God gave them an anointed king Saul, who then later didn't obey Gods rules.       

                                     Isreal Demands a King (1 Samuel 8)

                                              

We should obey Gods rules.. We should do things for his Glory and not for our personal gain. This is what i have been learning since i have been blessed with little afflictions that I can sit here and take a couple of minutes of my day to spread this message.

When you try your best for your own personal glory its is sort of like a personal greedish attention that makes you look conceded  But when you try your best for Gods' Glory you become a true example of Jesus and how God blesses you abundantly when you try your best humbly.

    I wear this band at work to always remind me who's Glory I am doing my best for..

I know im not rich I can admit I am at almost poverty level in income but I am still rich!!! Rich in spirit!!!!I have Jesus. Jesus is my roll model that I look up to....I am taught to be patient, loving kind and caring etc.

And not just that but I am loved by the Lord.. Love is so powerful especially from the Lord. 

Waiting on The Lord

As I wait on what Jesus has in store for our family, we face a very different kind of circumstance. We are faced with having to staying in another shelter. Being that my hours were lowered at work and my boss will be replaced. Because of this change, I wont be able to afford the rent & the chances of my seasonal position turning into a permanent one will be almost to none.
      Though this may seem discouraging I still seek the Lords presence not for help but to feel his love and his presence. These are situations that I believe we have to endure to better understand Gods plan.
      I prayed last night for many things and one of the things I prayed for was a verse. God responded! Habakkuk 1:2-5 that answered my prayers. Answered my question for why was in placed in the predicament.
      Because there are other things that are going on in my life I don't want to get into details. All I can say is asked the Lord why have I lived in this standstill state for so long. I know most of the delay was my fault for derailing so many times.... Duh guess I've just answered my own question lol. But this is why I write this. For others to witness how things work in my life. Maybe your experience will be the same, or different. God has His own way.  His purpose might .