Update

As time has pasted I have looked back at my testimony and It has amazed me. God is Awesome, Amazing, Astounding! He did all that for us because of my yearn and hunger for his love, and presence. As time goes by we need to keep in mind all the tests that come to play when we are following such a pure and spiritual journey. The enemy will try it all to get you to sway.  Sway was the way I slowly fell.
 
 I some how fell into deep depression, my husband was acting very different, things went bad. I didn't seek the Lord when I should've. I allowed myself to fall. I went back into this pit and I felt that this time the Lord had punished me for being disobedient. I felt as if he did not want me to step foot in church, nor allow me to feel his presence. I began feeling as if my connections with certain people were diminishing. The financial struggle began. I started worrying more. Each day I was stressed out, frustrated. Every time there was something that began to bother me it became an endless domino effect of other things that bothered me till I became frustrated. Once again my husband and I were at each others neck. These series of events occurred slowly right under my nose without my notice.
       But I remember one thing when I realized I was starting on a habit that I fought for the Lord. I prayed that God would help me get rid of this filthy smoking habit. This habit which deteriorated my communication, and connection with Him. These were my last thoughts before it all began. But as Mathew 12:43 says "When an unclean spirit comes out of a man, it roams through waterless places looking for rest but doesn't find any. Then it says "Ill go back to my house that I came from' And when it arrives, it finds the (house) vacant swept, and put in order. Then off it goes and brings with it seven other spirits mor evil than itself, and they enter and settle down there. As a result, that man's last condition is worse than the first."
    Therefore that result 'worse that my last condition, I began smoking so heavily due to stress I became sick. I found myself coughing so hard I was almost throwing up, and head shortness of breath. I had to go to the hospital where they had to ex ray my chest and thank God I wasn't hospitalized but prescribed an inhaler. OMG I said to myself I have asthma! I haven't had an asthma attack since I was 11yrs old. ThATS IT I QUIT. From that day forth I quit smoking for my health......
         In the midst of it all I received a call from Lisa, I bumped into a 'Holy Soldier' Wanda and it was a reconnection all over again. I prayed! I yearned for the Lord I realized once again that these worldly things and feelings cannot compare to what our HEAVENLY FATHER can provide. It is surely a different world when you become apart of Gods' World.
     I am not ashamed of my mistakes they are what make me realize the wrongs and with faith help me build a stronger and better me.